When looking at the word monotonous what comes to mind is;
“dull, tedious, and repetitious; lacking in variety and interest”
I’m not sure if anyone would agree with me but men these days say they want to get to know you but their conversations with you never graduate from
“Hey, whats up?”
“Hey, how was your day?”
“Hi, what are you doing now?”
or “Hey, what do you do for fun?”
…….and a host of others but I’m sure you all get my drift.
Recently I was introduced to a guy because he saw my picture and was going crazy about how I looked and so asked to meet me in person. He was given my phone number and of course, he didn’t bother to call, he just started messaging me on whatsapp. In the initial stage I didn’t really take any deeper look into this but over the course of say two weeks, I noticed that I had never received an actual phone call from this guy.
So without ever giving me a call, he seized and opportunity to visit my yard because of a mutual friend. I still didn’t over analyse this situation and sat outside with him until his friend finished his visit. So this was the first time I saw the guy in person. At first glance, he wasn’t my type, because his eyebrows were shaved even neater than mine and i don’t consider that manly . To make matters worst he was defending his eyebrows being like than by drawing on crazy references such as men who plait their hair which I think are totally different concepts – but that is for another conversation.
So after he left my home, I still continued to receive whatsapp messages. Mark you, I have no issues with receiving whatsapp messages because I use that mode of communication with people I know, but for me, the operative term is “people I know.” Anyway, he continued to message me even after he made no effort to attend a party that we had intended to go, the result of his inaction was discussed in the previous post.
What I find most disturbing about his attempt at courtship is that his conversation had no depth at all. every single day, at least twice or three times a day, he messages to say, “how was your day, whats up, what are you doing now?” I was so completely annoyed. Is it me, or does anyone else think that if you don’t have anything to really talk about with a person, do not try to initiate a conversation because if that person had something to say to you, they would have probably made the first move.
It is annoying when someone sends a message, wake me from my sleep, or disturbs by chain of thought and interrupts whatever activity that I’m doing just to ask me whats up. If you want to know whats up, look up, its not rocket science.
How can you be seeking out a woman and for a period of three weeks you don’t even honor her with a proper phone call. Everyday its the same monotonous message. Life is already monotonous and nothing really changes from day to day. I go to work, then I go to school, then I get home and do assignment. That’s my daily routine, there isn’t much variation especially on during the week. You say you want to get to know me, asking me everyday how my day went is exactly the best way to do that.
I must say, after careful analysis of this and other exact experiences I have had with men of today, I realize that this is also a strategy on their path. Their intent is not really to get to know you and giving you enough information about themselves for you to really get to know them. For this guy in question, here he was being monotonous, when he has a child but he didn’t think that in pursuing a relationship having a child is an important topic for discussion or point of information for the unsuspecting prey. I can only imagine how many details of his real life we could have discussed if his attempt at communication was not so shallow.
Another similar situation was with this guy who apparently has been noticing me for over two years and only recently mustered the courage to express his feelings. the guy lives literally three blocks from me and has never invited me on a date or any such activity. his choice approach was as monotonous as the other guy and believe it or not this was a real conversation we had.
Guy: “hey, whats up”
Me: “not much, its so hot today”
Guy: “are you home?”
Me: “yes, why?”
Guy: “want me to come cool you down?”
Now I must be crazy or something, but according to my limited knowledge in science, unless he planned to install an Air Conditioning unit in my home, there is absolutely no way he could do a better job at cooling me than what my fan was already doing. I may be wrong, but as far as I know the human body generates heat and when they are in contact or close proximity to each other, the heat is transferable.
Anyway, from this I came to the realization that these shallow attempts at “getting to know you” is just a sly attempt at finding some silly lead into projecting some physical or sexual interaction. These men don’t have any real intention to get to know me or you – if your experience is similar. Their intention is to speak to you everyday about some trivial thing to create the facade that your getting to know them and they are getting to know you. If your trying to get to know, find out about where I was and where I’m planning to go. my dreams and aspirations, my hobbies, my beliefs, my thoughts on family etc. These are details that will give you a real idea of whether or not you and someone are compatible and if both your lives can successfully merge with as less conflict as possible.
But their intention really isn’t to merge lives as much as its to merge bodies
My advice to men is, please if you know you have no real intentions of really getting to know a woman, then don’t waste her time, state your intentions clearly and move on. Your gimmicks may work with the “Chicken Heads” but for a woman who operates at a higher cognitive level, it takes a lot more than “hey, whats up” to keep her engaged mentally.
Women, please look on for these tactics, because he is trying to communicate to you that he cares by checking in ever so often with the same stupid line and your probably accepting that he does care, but until a guy shows real interest in you as a whole person, looking at your past and your plans for the future etc, he really isn’t interested in “getting to know you”