I  didn’t birth you

I picked you

There were many choices

I chose you

I nurtured and cared for you


I never asked much of you

I only wanted you to flourish

So, I encouraged you

And now

At the peak of what should be your life

You’re dead

And I’m confronted

Once more

With my inability… to sustain

The things I love

I go on.





This poem was written in hopes of being read at my wedding as a pledge to the man I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. I later found out that everything he ever said to me was a lie – and I mean everything. However, though I will not be using this poem to pledge my love for him, I decided to share it anyway, because, though he was lying, every word of it is true and came from my heart.

I title it Aloha, because in Hawaiian, Aloha is used to express both hello and goodbye, which basically sums up the world wind of fake romance, that I recently experienced.

Here goes,


You engross my mind

I think of you always

like a breath of fresh air

you revitalize my heart

which has awaken from a coma

Your voice is a delight

I love your voice

when you gently whisper my name

I love the way you laugh

at the silliest of things

I think of you always

I replay our conversations

every word, every syllable inspires

a smile – hovers over my face

like clouds on a rainy day

I think of you always

you doubt I feel the way you do

but faith said go ahead

so I love you simply

because you asked me to.


“Love makes time pass but time makes love pass”.I have never been so badly deceived in my whole life and it will be a hell of a struggle to recover from this whole situation but it too shall pass – in time.

Hawaiian sunset

Does size really matter?

This topic was suggested by one of my readers as something for me to lament about. I must declare that I am no authority on the matter but there are certain things that women know and can speak of purely on the basis that they are women as there are certain qualities and feelings that are innate. So here goes my interpretation of the question –

Does size matter?  images

In every situation if there is too much or too little then that will affect how the experience is felt. If you eat too much then you will feel sick and if you eat too little, then your left wanting. In my opinion the same goes for the size of a man’s package.

Men have spent centuries convincing themselves  (with help from some women) that if they had a bigger d*&@k then they would be better men, better lovers and better at life.  But the truth is, most women are not out there looking in search of conquering the biggest d*&@k and having mind blowing sex.

Women are in search of love, stability, comfort, protection, acceptance, happiness etc, all of which has very little or nothing to do with the size of a man’s d*&@k . What women seek lies in the overall man, his character, his strengths and his weaknesses and his willingness to be both strong and vulnerable for her.

I think the size of a man’s d*&@k matters more to him than it does to a woman who is seeking love. The statement that love is blind have been proven true time and again. When a woman is in love she will do and accept and tolerate many things against her better judgement – like loving a man with a smaller or larger d*&@k than she is comfortable with  – an yes, a man’s dick can be too big!

But back to the issue at hand, a woman will accept and tolerate all your flaws  if you overall persona makes her happy, makes her want to be with you all the time, makes her life worthwhile. A woman will adapt to the man that she is comfortable and happy with. Will she admit that your d*&@k is too little or too big?  That has two answers;

If you’re too big – yes, quite easily, she will let you know.Because if a man’s dick is too big then that can cause a lot of displeasure and other issues so it is in her best interest to let him know. Why? So he can be more cautious and considerate during sex such that the encounter is not painful but pleasurable for both. Plus what man doesn’t want to hear that he is big….too big?

On the flip side, no man wants to hear that is d*&@k is small. So if a man fall in that category he probably will not hear it from his partner. However, she will try to find ways to help herself to enjoy the act of sex more and also to help him feel like he is bigger than what he is. She knows that your d*&@ks are synonymous with your egos so she will bend the truth a little or a lot and in some cases she will remain silent – well until you have that bad break- up and then the world and you will know how small it really is.

To counter this, I would encourage men to be more aware and accepting of where you fall on the spectrum so that you wont fall victim to being lied to or you wont traumatize an unsuspecting female. Once you can accept the piece that you have been dealt then you will be able to avoid the pretense and the ego trip and be more focused on making the best use of what you have, as bigger is not always better.

To answer the question, does size really matter? I say yes, yes it does. The  right size matters a great deal. I end in the words of Buju Banton, “Every hoe have them stick a bush.”

Christmas Wishes

In a perfect world we’d be together at Christmas time.

But since its not, I’ll be thinking of you just as I do so many other times.

Throughout the year I’ve visited my favourite memories,

 Wondering all the time how you’re doing?

Now I’m sending all my wishes for happiness to you during  Christmas time.

wherever you may be.


* this should have been a Christmas post but i was busiy driving back and forth from country and working. Hope its still enjoyable though late 🙂

Ebb and Flow

Love is not what you think.

Yes its patient, kind and understanding.

But it’s also hard, tiring and painful.

And if you love half the way

You are only setting yourself up for pain.

For it’s like a perfect sunny day,

When all of a sudden down comes the rain.

You’re not prepared, so you don’t have an umbrella or a coat

So in the rain you’ll get soak.

But if you love to the fullest and give it your all and not just a half

You’d know the outcome

And be ready when the rain comes again.