Thank you for the Loss of Sleep

you not only act like a child but you have discredited all the actions that I have taken today which to a normal, mature, well thinking individual would prove that I am taking steps that aren’t normal and are out of my way to show you how I feel. But all that is irrelevant right? Because you have decided that your ego has been hurt or bruised, by no deliberate action of mine. You eavesdrop on a conversation, take a snippet of it out of context and now I’m held in contempt. even when I have brought up several situations where you have done worst to me deliberately, you still remain dismissive. you have dismissed my feelings, you have dismissed my efforts and you have dismissed me. At the very least, even though you had no real grounds to be upset, I acknowledged your hurt, walked in your shoes, and apologized, but that wasn’t enough. You can’t fit in my shoes, because all you can see is your ego. you cant see how your histrionics have caused me hurt. no all you see is your hurt, all you can see if your self. even though I asked you not to go to bed angry at me, apologized sincerely and reassured you of my affections, I was still dismissed. I really do hope you will sleep well. Ill be losing sleep, tonight, and maybe tomorrow night, but eventually I will sleep fine.

prelude to the death of a fling

the turbulence starts

initiated by nothing

like a gentle breeze

its the calm before the storm, then

your flung into a world wind

the things that were once attractive

becomes what sets it off

your at fault in all you do

simple everyday actions take on

new interpretations

you find yourself justifying

explaining, holding back

more and more

everyday, a piece of your soul

dies, a slow death

you’ve erased so much of

who you are you?

You ask your self, as you destroy who you were

to become who he wants

but its never enough, the distance still grows

your pain is ignored, the tears flow

unnoticed, your hurt unresolved;

ricochets, inside you

with no escape,

and while you lose yourself,

you still lose what you lost you for.A81ECJ

Inverted

The source of your greatest pleasure

is often the source of your greatest pain

You are taken on a high

By some random person, at some random time

You let your guard down

You’re without care

You feel light as air

Gravity doesn’t even exist

Then after days, weeks, even months

Reality strikes and gravity surprises you

You free fall from that high point

of perpetual bliss, and you find that

your ceiling is quickly morphing into  a floor

Your high point suddenly becomes

a dark deep hole you can’t climb out of

You always thought there was significant distance

between up and down

but like the thin line between

love and hate

joy and sorrow

life and death

It is fragile

A simple footstep makes a difference

A single action or non action

A single day, a single minute

and your left agonizing

over the whys and hows

Tormented by the what was to be

and the what was.

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Image courtesy of Unsplash.

 

Inspired by http://writeonedge.com/2014/05/writing-prompt-2014-week-20/