Life has a strange way of kicking me
Every time I go against my instinct
The walls come crumbling
Happiness is just an illusion
Why do I bother to chase it?
The moment I let go of inhibitions
Take a plunge
Make the attempt, against better judgment
To live, to laugh
Life just takes over
And reminds me just how muck
In everything, there is a time; a place
A season and a reason
Some get everything and some
They cycle of life continues
Just a few lines of my thoughts written in 2 minutes and a reminder that my happiness should really solely depend on me because every time I leave it up to someone else, I always end up recovering, pulling myself out of some unnecessary trench of sorrow, pain and heartache. I’ve never disappointed myself and I have learned from long ago that the only one I can truly depend on is myself. But like most I suffer from that one flaw that unfortunately I can’t correct…I am human.
A friend once asked me if reincarnation was real, what would I want to come back as? I said a fish and my friend got very upset, because, he thought that I was stupid to want to be a creature of chance. Just a little fish without intelligence, a thing that can be caught in a net and just die or be eaten or something like that. Of course he forgot that there are actually bigger fishes in the sea that don’t necessarily live such a chance life, but that was irrelevant because I really wasn’t thinking of being a whale. Just a tiny fish with the entire ocean surrounding me.
My friend actually was appalled that a human being would denounced being human, the greatest thing ever invented, and choose to be an insignificant fish. But, it was much deeper than that for me. Humans believe or not are really not all that.
“Blue is the ocean
Calling me in
Calling me near
If I could only learn
To breathe down here
I know I would be
At home under the sea
Yeah” ___Leanne Rimes
This verse at that time and for many years while I was growing up spoke to me because it encapsulated my exact feeling about life as a human. And today, in a time when I was most happy, in a split second I was brought right back to this place. But hey, on the bright side, I have learned to swim and now I can actually take a real plunge in the ocean every once in a while. Come to think of it, the ocean did play a part of what sank my happiness today, but I’m not letting that ruin the sea for me, after all, it really was an innocent bystander in the whole shebang.
I still hold steadfast to my desire to be a fish. If hurt is all I can get from humans, I’ll take my chances in the sea, second time around.
P.S. Ignore the context, focus on the art.